In order to win this PP contest, i must let the facts rain down on you.
All jokes aside, if you really want to understand the shift in direction Princess Portal is making for the future, then you have to understand the journey taken by her ancestors in the past. Her family tree is a product of rival factions from different lands. Even though this new land is very different from the lands of her ancestors, we all know history is doomed to repeat itself. PP could see this coming to pass soon, and had to make preperations accordingly. Let me explain…
You see, we have to travel back in time 2 generations to really understand the 2 sides of PP that seem to tear at each other to no end. This is where we are introduced to her grandparents. Her grandparents lived in a parallel kingdom, ironically called Parallel Kingdom. There were 2 major factions in the wars of PK. Her grandmother was a member of the vast and much hated army, host¡le takeover, more commonly known to the locals simply as “h¡t”.
Her grandfather was was a member of the smaller but possibly more influential group, Tokers Helping Underdogs Get Somewhere, more commonly known to the locals as "T.H.U.G.S."
While h¡t was taking over Happy Valley and T.H.U.G.S. was doing tours of all the sunken cities in the kingdom, they took 2 very different paths.
H¡t would smash the mythical creatures like the Zagharu and the Pheonix with brute force and sell their feathers to fund their wars where they would use any shady tactic they could think of to smash to victory.
T.H.U.G.S. were just super rich and liked to advance everyone in PK by sharing secrets to financial success and locations to all of the known riches in the land. They were liked by everyone and didn’t intervene in the wars unless they had to, but man oh man when they did, RUN!!
Even Princess Portal isn’t sure who her exact grandparents were in Parallel Kingdom, she did hear stories. Stories of travelling by means of something called “gps”. Stories of a man called Adeadhead, some woman named Bauchii that had something to do with something called “hackingstrippers”(whatever that is) and a scammer named Scammer(ironically enough) who was rumored to have sold someone a cruddy bow that he had renamed leafbow to pass off his legacy as the greatest scammer and forger in all of the kingdom.
At some point, many members from both sides, and others, were sucked into a parallel world called Parallel Mafia.
Many of their memories were lost, and a new war ensued.Excpet this time, they weren’t in the skyrealm or battling dragons or Zags with swords.
THESE WERE STRAIGHT UP PASTA EATING GANGSTERS.
Were talking business fronts, money laundering, drugs, tommy guns and trenchcoats, and mobsters at the dance clubs!!
The PP family was drowning in division once again, as her father was a part of the T.H.U.G.S. rebirth, T.H.U.G.S. Legacy, and her mother was a part of of the h¡t revival, ¡4n¡(eye for an eye). The leader of T.H.U.G.S. legacy was apparrantly very happy, and the leader of ¡4n¡ aparrantly had no equal(see what I did there?) The original founder of T.H.U.G.S. made his way through the PK portal and joined Legacy.
A member named TaglessAwesomeness carried on the T.H.U.G.S. legacy by creating a massive museum that was travelled to by this “gps” thing again. It told all the great history of PM, from the great MarkB credit flood, to the battles that involved mobsters from leftover portal travellers that were mostly lost souls from h¡t and Draco that wandered into PM. They fought each other wearing trenchcoats and canes, fighting each other with shotguns, tommy guns, and even NUCLEAR MISSLES.
And you would often hear the opposing parties taunting each other with phrases like “fagetaboutit” and “utalkintome” and even “sleepin with the fishes”.
As PP was walking through the parallel mafia museum, she knew this war was over and could feel herself being pulled into a new portal, just like her ancestors before her.
Enter Portal Quest.
PP ran into some guys in beards who were probably descendants of host¡le takeover, and she immediately went fury. Like her h¡t ancestors before her, using brute force to crush her enemies came quite naturally.
But then the whispers started that this thing called “gps” was finally coming to Portal Quest. She knew it must be true because as she was going through the portal from PM to PQ, she was able to briefly visit a dark unspoke of land called Dark Rivals.
She witnessed fierce battles of up to 15 heros in this thing called “the dark arena”. And when she heard about the new battle coming to PQ, she eas like “OMG this is the exact same thing as the dark arena”!!
And instantly she was convinced if that had managed to come to Portal Quest, certainly this “gps” rumor must be true. I will finally understand what my parents and grandparents were talking about- This magical way to travel and visit EVERYTHING in PQ.
She decided she was going to be ready. See, Princess Portal has been through alot of portals(hence the name) and she knew if this “gps” thing was coming back, now is the time to make the move!! Fury sure is good for winning battles, but finesse is the way to rule the world. Goodbye bearded buddies but I hear the ancient call of the T H.U.G.S.
You will be missed
Sad troll is sad.
Now, if I could only find some swag…
**&Dedicated to all of my peeps who played parallel kingdom and parallel mafia and even dark rivals with me, MUCH LOVE!!